PODCAST: Getting others to say no to desserts for you

Estimated read time: 5 minutes

When others started declining foods for me to people around us, I knew I’ve changed my behavior and eating habits. People had noticed. This podcast discusses how others decline treats and other higher-calorie foods that don’t fit into my diet for me.

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Today I want to talk about how to get other people to turn down treats for you. Now, this is something that didn’t happen to me all that often, if ever when I was 300 -something pounds. People didn’t turn down treats for me. In fact, they brought me more treats.

Birthday cake dessert“Here’s something else. ”

“Would you like another piece of cake?”

“Would you like another, whatever chocolate bar of one kind or another?”

And then I started to lose weight. The pounds started to melt off. I ate less. I worked out. I started to run – relatively slowly to begin with, but I didn’t eat dessert. That was one of the easiest ways to cut calories. It tasted great, but the calories were just through the roof. So, I stopped eating desserts and what started happening is people noticed. People noticed that I was still sitting there and still hanging out and still socializing, but I wasn’t eating the dessert.

When people would hand out desserts at a dinner party or some other event, people would actually say for me, “Oh, he’s on a diet. He’s not going to have it anyway.”

They say for you what you were going to say. It’s almost like a positive reinforcement. A compliment event. This still happens in February 2014, even though, I’m not technically on a diet. I went down 130, 140 pounds, and then I gained a few pounds back. I’m probably around 100, 120 pounds down right now from my heaviest. I’ve gained some weight. I’ve lifted some weights and people still say that for me before I can even open my mouth, I was at a dinner party one time and had to leave. There was a fairly large group there and the host said, “But we haven’t had dessert yet” and before I could even say anything else she says, “Oh, but you’re not going to have dessert anyway, correct?” and I said, “That’s correct. I wasn’t going to. I’m sure that it would taste great, but I am trying to watch my calories.”

There was an event scheduled at my daughter’s elementary school called “Doughnuts with Dad” and I said to her, “What if I can’t or don’t want to eat a doughnut. They’re really high in calories, you know?”

She says, “Yes, I know,” but you can just say, ‘Thank you, but no thank you. I don’t want to eat a doughnut’ and you can eat something else. You can drink a cup of coffee, for example.”

These healthy behaviors once you start implementing them, they are accepted more and more, even my six-year-old accepts them.

She doesn’t say, “Oh, but it’s ‘Doughnuts with Dad.’ You have to eat a doughnut. That’s not what she says. Once you live it, it’s accepted.

I remember one time I was at a function in a meeting and I won a cake. There was a give away and I won a cake. An entire homemade cake, and of course, I’m not going to eat a whole cake, but I didn’t even have to say that. Somebody else said it for me. They said, “Oh, he’s not going to eat it anyway.” Who wants the cake now and I didn’t even have to say that myself. Of course I did go up to the person who made the cake and said, “Is it okay if I give it to somebody else?”

See, once you get into  your new lifestyle people will say for you what you would want to say anyway because they know he doesn’t want to eat cake or he doesn’t want to eat dessert or even if he wants to, he has the will power not to.

Every once in a while I do have a piece of cake. Not often. I was at a luncheon. You know how they serve the meal and then of course they have this great looking dessert in front of you and I had a bite. I kind of looked at it and somebody from across the table that I knew looked at me and I had one bite. I got the fork and I took a quick bite from this piece of cake and she kind of looked at me, “Oh, you’re going to eat that?” and I’m like “I think I just have like one bite” and then I was thinking about a second bite and it’s like, it’s almost like people are holding you accountable in a very subtle nice non-confrontational way.

Just a reminder, right?  “Are you sure you’re going to eat the cake. You’ve been telling us you don’t want to eat cake because you’re trying to lose weight, etc., etc. Christoph do you know that cake has like 800 calories?”

I actually said that to somebody. At one point I said, “I wonder how many calories that cake has, ” and they said,”It’s like 900 calories.” Now, it doesn’t mean that people can’t have cake. They can, but I’m on a 1,900-calorie-per-day diet, 1,970 calories actually, and that’s like two pieces and you’re done eating for the day or you can go run and run it off. It’s kind of nice to see how people take on your story, your message and help you move it forward.

Thank you for reading.